Splitting hairs

One of my friends growing up had “unruly” hair. I vividly remember the smell of White Rain aerosol hair spray when I think of the hours we spent in her bathroom with the curling iron, flat iron, hair dryer, and various brushes. Her hair didn’t want to lay down or be curled into large ringlets. It certainly wasn’t going to be straight. She was sick of keeping it close-cropped but when she tried to grow it out, it just went … out. She’d tug on a piece by her ear, stretching it down as far toward her shoulder as it would go, and declare hopefully, “My hair is getting so long!”

She was biracial – ¼ black – and had been adopted as an infant into a white family in our small town in the Southwest. Halfway through high school she learned that people of color shouldn’t necessarily adhere to a daily shampooing schedule, and that there were products sold specifically for hair like hers. I’m impressed, given our town's ethnic demographics, that she ever figured out how to care for her hair. I regret all the time we wasted trying to torture it into hairstyles designed for straight hair, while entirely missing the beauty of her hair as it was. I love Liberty's take on this topic in her blog post: "Nappy Hair Brushing Session: Child Abuse?"

I was the only redhead in my family growing up. A million times I was asked by a stranger (usually an old lady) “Where did you get that pretty red hair?” And I’d smile and dutifully rattle off something about a great-great grandfather (or was it a great uncle?), which would be met with a satisfied smile.

It never bothered me that I wasn't entirely sure where the red hair came from. Perhaps being raised in my biological family contributed to the fact that I felt no driving need to know where up the chain this little piece of DNA had been expressed. In my family and in my town it was seen as unique and interesting, and possibly a predictor of my temperament, but nothing beyond that.

I’ve lost touch with my friend now, but I’m curious about her current hairstyle, and hopeful that she’s wearing it proudly.

Image: Stock.xchng